Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The New U.S. Poet Laure-sorry, what?

Modern poetry is
a well-written paragraph chopped
up into random collections
of sentence fragments
that resist easy

Saturday, June 25, 2011


New York State passed the gay marriage bill last night.

I feel the kind of embarrassment that any self-aware white person must have felt during the civil rights movement of the 60's: I'm so happy for my gay friends but I know, as a straight person, that I was never the one who was being oppressed. I hope my treasured gays forgive me the small entitlement of my satisfaction.

Still, it makes me miss Doric Wilson. Deeply. I was folded into his inner circle (as part of the ridiculously talented TOSOSII) for a very brief two years or so, until my own personal problems drove me away from many of my then-current social circles. He was one of the original gay rights activists--he never knew that speaking out for people of his sexual predilection was a "thing"--and ended up being part of the Stonewall riots that started this whole ball rolling forty years ago.

Doric died very recently. And I didn't say anything about it at the time because I felt that same entitlement-based embarrassment. But I desperately wish he had been around to see this, to see NYC actually legalize--i.e., normalize--the kind of society that he'd been fighting for since the 50's, before he knew he was fighting for anything other than people not harming other people.

I admit that others--Barry, Mark, Kathleen, Jamie--have way more claim on missing him than I do, but those brief moments of having the sunshine of his attention focused on me have really never faded.

He saw so much during his time on earth; I just wish he'd been around to see this.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Happy Birthday To Me

A list of my birthday presents, as given to me today and over this past year:

--I got to play Arlene's Grocery with The Conditionals last night. Arlene's has been on a par for me, as a measure of success, with venues like the Bitter End, ever since I saw a band there--Bailiff--whom I thought were terminally cool and desperately wanted to join. I was not cool at the time though, and things worked out the way they were meant to.

--I'm finally playing with an honest-to-god blues band, headed by a Mr. Nick E.T. (he'd hate me for saying he was the bandleader, which is delicious): the Brooklyn Blues Project. And we're good. Since I started at age 12, I never thought I'd be one of the "good" musicians playing in a "good" band.

--I got new headphones so I can finally use my ipod again.

--I got new underwear so I can finally use my pants again. Wait....

And, drumroll pleeze...

--My wife. That's all, just "my wife." Everything about her. From her head to her toes, to everything between her ears, to her lovely, lightly beating heart. The love of my life.

Now, spin me like an LP! Call me your pin-up Jesus! (Buh-dum!) I'm 33, y'all!

Sunday, May 22, 2011


It's May 22nd. The rapture was yesterday. Anybody notice a certain 144,000 people missing this morning? Bueller...?

Israel still around? Oh, it is? And growing, you say?

His ways truly are mysterious.....

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Early Morning Random Snark

Today, my husband got a random vasectomy, all because I said we needed protection. I meant condoms. Apparently he hadn't been listening when I told him about my fantasies of having a big family some day. FML.
I would argue that he heard you crystal clear....

A personal version:
Today, I got into theater because I'm a late afternoon/night person, but today--a Sunday--I'm stuck at work from 9am till after midnight, essentially from one morning into the next. FML.
Yep, sounds about right...

Monday, April 25, 2011

Paging Dr. Freud

Actually, this seems like an accurate snapshot of both parties (the hilarious idea of "Republican intervention" aside)....

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Suck It Up: Addendum

John Cole concurs:
I am voting for [Obama] in 2012 no matter what, because even though he has many flaws, he will be head and shoulders above whatever swamp thing crawls out of the primordial ooze of lies, homophobia, racial resentment, fearmongering, religious triumphalism, and class warfare that will be the GOP primaries.
Yeah. That's totally what I meant to say too.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Roving Insults

I love this.

I love it because each is correct in his assessment of the other: Rove was Bush ("He Who Shall Not Be Named by the GOP Candidates," to use Sully's delightful moniker), and is a partial owner or greater in all the failures of those eight years. And Trump is a joke candidate, after sprinting so breathlessly into the birther camp in recent days.

To be fair, despite their current differences they both have one thing in common: either now or in the past they've both been completely bankrupt.


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Suck It Up

This seems very right to me. I've been reading variations of this sentiment all over the place lately--"Obama failed to deliver on this, that, or the other, therefore he has not earned my support for his reelection"--and I am immediately put in mind of our world, post-2003.

The Iraq War, a war of choice driven by many cherished neuroses of GWB and the American right, is a war that Al Gore would have never started. Period. And the fact that it was started is the utmost proof that keeping the psychopaths and the willfully stupid out of high office is a righteous goal in itself.

Any sane, left-leaning individual whose disillusionment with Obama may be pushing them to such selfish handwringing should take a look at the Republican field and imagine--just imagine--what any one of those sycophants and extremists would do with the office of President.

And then he or she should get off their fainting couch and pull the lever for another four years of often less-than-inspiring, clearly imperfect sanity...

Sunday, April 10, 2011


My going theory is that Radioshack is a charity shelter for people too stupid to work at Home Depot. Now, they say you should test a theory with the intent to disprove it. And every time I brave a Radioshack, I take my fragile faith in humanity, hold it in my hopeful little hands, and do just that.


A day or so ago, I walk into my neighborhood Radioshack just before closing time, needing contact cleaner for a piece of electronics I have. There's an employee by the door, vacuuming. I ask him if they carry contact cleaner. He smiles kindly, the way you would for a child or someone with polio braces.

"Contact cleaner," I say.

"You know you're in Radioshack, right?" he asks. I nod, "Yeah, do you guys have contact cleaner?" He then points to his eye: "Contacts?"

Ah--I realize--one of the mentally homeless.

"No, no," I say "contact cleaner...for cleaning electrical connections." The kind you'd find in an electronics store, I refrain from saying. "Ooohhh," he nods, for whatever reason visibly relieved. Then he shouts over to employee #2, who's stocking shelves with his back to us, "Hey, we have contact cleaner, right?"

Employee #2 doesn't look up, just shakes his head 'no.' Employee #1 persists, "I think we do. You know, contact cleaner!" Prodded by this exclamation mark, employee #2 finally lifts his head and sizes me up, clearly annoyed at having to answer such a stupid question...and points to his eye. "Contacts?" he says, with a puckered smirk.

Hm--I think--both of these guys' shoes are tied, no velcro, and they appear to be breathing fine, no eye dilation....

"No," I repeat, "contact cleaner...for cleaning electrical connections."

Employee #2 looks at me a second, processing.

Finally, a third employee, who'd kept his head down through this entire exchange, counting receipts at the register, says simply, "it's in aisle three." And sure enough...


A few observations, in a l'esprit de l'escalier type way.

First, what was the sin of employee #3--the only one of the bunch seemingly capable of breathing through his nose--that he should be consigned to such a Sartre-esque hell?

Second, it's extremely disconcerting to be viewed as an idiot by idiots. The experience has a panic-inducing, through-the-looking-glass quality to it.

Third, my theory stands. Radioshack: 1; The Shining Future of Humanity: 0.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Musician, Heal Thyself!

After scratching my finger while on vacation, the cut got infected. Naturally, this finger is the pointer on my left hand, i.e., the one I use to do bar chords on the guitar.

Not a painful situation at all. Ahem.

I found myself in this per-dick-a-mint--again naturally--after I had scheduled myself for nine hours of basically continuous band practice the week I got back in town.

So there I am, walking into the studio with my aching, swollen finger, thinking over the torments of the hours to come. I start playing--ouch. I play some more. I get into it a bit; get the adrenaline going a little. And a few hours later...no more pain.

Examining my finger, I notice that the swelling is gone. A few days later, it seems like my day of playing cured me entirely, enough that I could confidently cancel the doc's appointment I had scheduled for this morning.

Chalk it up to the power of music. Oh, and pressing a bubble of infected flesh against sharp, steel strings for hours on end.

But mostly music....

Sunday, March 20, 2011


So, it seems we've taken military action against Libya.

I remember being around 8 or so, playing with a friend in the creek behind my house, and throwing clumps of mud at something or other, pretending we were bombing Libya. We're talking circa 1986. At the time, I had no idea what "bombing Libya" actually meant, just that it was an American thing to do, since everyone was talking about it at the time.

The more things change, the more they...don't change. Eh?

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Lent Out

For Lent, I'm giving up any belief in mythological savior figures.

And microwave taquitos.

I'll resume the taquitos after 40 days....

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Elections Matter? (!)

Droopy Dog Joe Lieberman has again caught the scent of blood and conquest in his slack jowls. (I'm imagining him as basset stock, whose sense of smell is improved by what they catch in the folds by their nose. No offense to bassets.)

Yes, let's jump right into Libya. We've learned so much about holding together a tribal nation like Iraq that it'll be a cinch. Just cut 'n paste! Why are we not bombing them already?

Given his history, Bush probably would have jumped at the prospect. I applaud Obama's current restraint. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why we go to the voting booth....

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Love Your Fellow Heathen Day!

After a solid two minutes' meditation on the subject, my considered take on Valentines Day is that...at least we have one holiday that emphasizes love for your partner (and by extension family and friends) in a non-Judeo-Christian fashion.

Complain all you want about corporatism, but here's a day in the year when the idea of considering the needs of those you care for is completely unfettered from the usual God-and-punishment tripe.

I think paying for some uprooted plant genitalia and a few cocoa-sugar confections is worth society at large being free of the hypocritical, fire-and-damnation love we hear so much about on any given Sunday.

Not that I opened my wallet in any related way today. Jes' saying....

Friday, January 28, 2011

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Score One For The Polytheists?

I can only read a story about the Nepalese child that is the "living goddess" and think...religion ruins one more young life.


Monday, January 17, 2011

Daddy Dearest

This counts as a benchmark both in gender equality and adoption rights, yes?

(telemarketing | St. Louis, MO, USA)

(My job is to call people and pitch the brand of make-up my company sells. I call and an obviously really young girl answers the phone.)

Little Girl: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi, may I talk to the lady of this residence?”

Little Girl: “That’s me.”

Me: “I mean, may I talk to your mom?”

Little Girl: “I have two dads.”

Me: “Oh well, never mind then. Have a nice day!”

Little Girl: “Wait! Why did you call?”

Me: “I’m selling make-up.”

Little Girl: “Oh! One of my daddies loves that stuff, it makes him look pretty when he goes dancing! Let me give him the phone! Dad! Dad! Some girl wants to make you look pretty!”

Saturday, January 15, 2011

A Little (Scissor) Lift For An Expat

It's been a long, long time since I've been back to Georgia and I have to say, this video made me miss the childlike dynamics of so many interactions in good ol' Dixie.

And the cherry is that, at the end, you can just make out the guy say "gul-dang." That just puts pep in my step.

Thursday, January 13, 2011


Perhaps the saddest thing about being an artist who works around artists all day is...how quotidian it all becomes.

Art that once moved me is now something that I study to determine how it achieved its effect.

I suppose this is a bit like a Wall St. kid complaining that making money isn't as fun as he heard. All apologies...

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Random Thought: Self-Esteem

Anyone who can confidently wear white underwear is going places in this world.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Jaundice H. Christ

A Christmas day communion in Long Island may have exposed hundreds of churchgoers to Hepatitis A.

So given the principles of transubstantiation...did the priest give the Holy Son a liver infection by accidentally bleeding in His blood? It works both ways right?

Or did Jesus already have Hep A from some Magdalena tomfoolery and it took science 2,000 years to notice?

Either way, it's a Christmas miracle!