Gimme A Bloody Mary, Mary!

If what this man says is true, that gays are just like alcoholics, then that would explain a lot about why gays are so fabulous and why they never lack for social, um, lubrication.

It's the dopamine, sweety!

And can you imagine how much beer money I would save a year if I just chose to prefer cock? Well whatevs, I'd end up blowing the extra cash on Abercrombie&Fitch tank tops and old van Damme movie rentals in the end anyway.

("Blowing" "van Damme" "in the end"? Oh heavens to Betsy, the transformation's already started....)