Monday, July 13, 2009

43: The Evil One Behind 43 & The Introduction Of Rule #1

When I have an ethical quandary, there's a certain colleague I turn to. As a student of human behavior, and a renowned Zen Buddhist--at least, that's how I describe him to all my friends--my colleague continues to be an excellent guide to the moral posts that mark the right and proper path through this modern world. He also has a great ass. For the purposes of this discussion, I will refer to him as "Mr. T."

(Holy crap! "Mr. T!" How is it I never thought of that till just now?!)


(Straightens tie)

Mr. T (chuckle, snort) has one major rule in life. It's so major that Rule #2 is simply an exhortation not to break Rule #1. Which should never be broken. Ever. Either of 'em. Cause breaking one is breaking both. Which is double awful. So, yeah. Neither. Even when you really want to. Just don't do it. Never--never--break Rule #1. Ever. If you do, I swear to my army of bathtub squirrels that Mr. T (chuckle, snort) will break into your house and fart on your pillow. Because Mr. T is a vengeful god. Which is bad and stuff. So...okay?

Is that clear?

Okay, so, highlight the space below to reveal...Rule #1:

Don't Choke A Bitch.

Got that? Simple, right?

That said:

Holy shit.

Can Congress please, please muster the fucking balls to break Rule #1?

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